DOLORES UMBRIDGEHave you swallowed something funny in there? Become a Mudblood without any of us noticing? Harry Potter died over twenty years ago as part of that failed coup on the school – he was one of those Dumbledore terrorists we bravely overthrew at the Battle of Hogwarts. Now come along – I don’t know what game you’re playing but you’re upsetting the Dementors and entirely ruining Voldemort Day.
And the Parseltongue whispers grow louder and louder. Grow monstrously loud. And giant banners with snake symbols upon them descend over the stage.
SCORPIUS
Voldemort Day?
We cut to black.
